Homecoming

We are back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The flight home went pretty well. Ben slept for most of the time (which meant that Jay and I actually got some rest). The flight was pretty empty so we had a row of 3 seats to ourselves. We were hoping to lay him down on the empty seat in between us but, since he likes to sleep on his stomach, he was really uncomfortable with the incline of the seat. He was tossing and turning and making a really pathetic moaning sound. We needed a plan fast! We decided to use our pillows and blankets to make a little bed on the floor in front of the seat. This worked like a charm and he was out like a light! Since he is a wild little sleeper he eventually schooched (is that how you spell that??!!) himself under Jay's seat which provided us with some great photos! Then, it all fell apart...

Jay and I had both fallen asleep and then suddenly Jay woke me up. "Where's Ben?" he asked. WHAT- WHERE'S BEN???!!!!! It was dark on the plane so we were both trying to feel under our seats thinking that he was sleeping and just rolled under there somehow. Suddenly, the guy behind us poked his head through our seats and said, "I think he is back there." I let out an expletive (which will remain private!) as I looked back and saw my baby crawling down the aisle halfway down the plane. Ben was having a good ole time but I rushed over, grabbed him, and ran back to our seat. Who knows how he got past me to get into the aisle or how long he was loose??? I guess there will be no Parent of the Year award for us!

We arrived safely at Dulles and we went through immigration. As soon as we handed our brown envelope of documents over to the immigration officer, Ben became an official American. YEAH! He was hardly bothered by it but we were cheering!

When we came out of baggage claim we saw Jack and Annie for the first time. Do you know how when you bring your second baby home from the hospital and suddenly your first child looks huge? Well, same with an adoption! Annie looked like she grew 6 inches while we were gone! It was so great to be able to hug them in person and to introduce them to Ben. They were both really excited to meet him and and he actually did really well considering he was tired and there were strangers making a big fuss over him!



Well, this ends the blog of our trip to China. In some ways it was a long trip and in some ways it just flew by. But, we are glad to be back and we are ready to start our new life as a family of 5!

Tiananmen Square and Forbidden City (LATE POST)

Well, it is our last day in China. We feel as if we have been in a different universe, far away from life's drama and pressures, and, if not for the excitement over seeing Jack and Annie again, we would gladly remain here. We are so grateful for this opportunity to dedicate all of our time and attention to Ben. We have gotten to know him so well and we are sure that this will make his transition at home go much more smoothly.

Even though it is our last day, we decided that since we haven't stopped moving the entire time we have been in China that we shouldn't stop now! Our guide had planned for us to visit Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City today but secretly she thought that we would back out because we are too tired. NO WAY! We loaded Ben in the backpack (which he absolutely loves now!) and headed to the most famous real estate in Beijing.

Tianammen Square is so much bigger than I imagined it to be. It is absolutely huge and packed with people, most of whom are Chinese tourists from other parts of the country. There are all kinds of people selling trinkets and souvenirs (illegally but the guards standing everywhere seem content to let it happen). We bought Jack a kite that he is really going to like although we had to be sneaky about it. For me, as a child who began to have a greater understanding of the world in the late 80's and early 90's, it was impossible to stand there in the square and not imagine it packed with protesting students. I saw the exact spot that is so famous where that guy was standing in front of the tank and I took a few moments just to think to myself about all the lives that were lost or destroyed that day. The square certainly is grand but it left me with mixed emotions.




At the north side of the square sits the gate to the Emperor's Palace (aka the Forbidden City). Jay has been looking forward to visiting the Forbidden City ever since he was a child watching the moving "The Last Emperor." He was almost childlike with excitement and it was funny watching him take about a billion pictures! The Forbidden City was so fabulously grand that it is hard to describe. It is just stunningly beautiful from top to bottom and HUGE. It just keeps going, courtyard after courtyard, throne room after throne room, meeting area after meeting area. Every surface is covered with stunning carvings and stonework and there is a man made river that runs through the middle. It is actually so overwhelmingly beautiful that after a while your brain stops processing information and you just kind of walk around in a daze. To come to China and not visit the Forbidden City would be a GIANT mistake! Ben was so enthralled with the splendor of it all that he fell asleep in the backpack for about 2 hours :)




It took us pretty much all day to tour and then our guide Amber dropped us off at the airport. On the way to the airport she showed us the CCAA building (China Center for Adoption Affairs). For those of you in the adoption world, you will understand the awe and dread I felt when I looked at it! Amber gave us a little souvenir for Ben and then she surprised us with a special present- a copy of the newspaper from the day we got Ben. We thought that was so thoughtful of her! She was a fabulous guide and we enjoyed spending time with her. She was the first guide that we had who understood all of Jay's jokes! Anyway, when we checked in the airport the United Guy surprised us with passes to the business class lounge. That was such a treat! We have found the Chinese, for the most part, to be so gracious to us when they see that we are adopting a child with special needs. This was something that we were not expecting and it has made us feel welcome and cared for. There were some people who rudely fought to "have a look" and one old woman who grabbed my arm so hard it left a bruise but otherwise people have been very nice to us and they have made our trip quite pleasant.

I can't believe that in a few short(?) hours we will be home and Ben will be an American citizen! It makes me tear up just thinking about it (or maybe I am tearing up thinking about a 14 hour flight!!!). Wish us luck!

The Great (?) Wall

So, today was our big day for Beijing sightseeing. This made Jay giddy as he was really looking forward to this and had been very disappointed when we could not come to Beijing on our way into China and me very cranky as we did not get in last night until midnight and I (unlike others!) did not sleep on the plane because I was holding a squirming baby. For those of you who know us, this was a deadly combination :)

We headed up to the northern part of the city to see the Great Wall. We had seen an older, more remote section as we drove up to Ben's orphanage last week but this was a famous section near a passage built by an emperor to visit his mommy in Mongolia (how sweet!). I was under the impression that we were just visiting the wall but, much to my disappointment, we were meant to be CLIMBING the wall. I traditionally don't like to climb anything but Jay, on the other hand, got all geared up to try it out. We stopped by the etching of the words of Chairman Mao that say if you want to be a hero then you have to climb the wall and then we started on our quest to become heroes. It was quite cold so Ben was all wrapped up in his traveling backpack and was quite content to be carried up the wall. I looked everywhere for a horse, mule, donkey, or camel but there was none to be found so I headed upwards under my own power. If you look at the pictures you will see that this climb is NO JOKE and you are literally climbing almost vertically.


I made it to the 3rd platform (still really high!) before I thought that death was imminent and I needed to stop. I did, however, make it past the stand where you can buy your official hero card so that makes me, you guessed it, a hero!!! Jay left me with our guide and he headed off with Ben to climb higher and higher. About an hour went by and our guide started getting nervous. It wasn't long after that we saw Jay coming back down. When he explained to our guide what he had seen she was VERY impressed. It turns out that although she brings tourists there every week, Jay had climbed higher and farther than anyone she had ever seen! But, the real hero at the wall was Ben who never uttered a peep during the whole climb and managed to stay "clean" while he and daddy were climbing an hour away and mommy was at the third platform with all of the diapers!

After we left the wall we drove past the new Olympic village complete with the new stadium, The Bird's Nest. You can see it over our shoulder in the picture below. It really is quite an amazing building. We also saw the Olympic countdown clock. They had better get cracking as time is quickly ticking away!



This afternoon we went on a Hutong Tour by bicycle. A Hutong is a preserved housing "development" (from about 800 years ago!) in which people still live and do business. We were really tired but the ride on the bicycle was relaxing and we learned some interesting cultural things.

Tonight, to celebrate our LAST NIGHT (I can't believe it!) in China, we went out for my favorite food of all time: Peking Duck. Our guide sent us to the most awesome restaurant and it was GREAT! I could totally eat that everyday if it wasn't so very bad for you :) Ben made a giant mess with his food and loved every minute of it! It was such a nice way to celebrate everything we have been through over the last 2 weeks.

Tomorrow we are off to do a little more sightseeing and then we will be flying home. I am so sad to leave China yet I am really excited to get Ben home and to see Jack and Annie. Hopefully we will all be rested and ready to go in the morning... yeah right!

Goodbye Guangzhou, Hello Visa (LATE POST)

Well, today was our last day in Guangzhou. I won't lie and say that I did not enjoy myself here. The weather is pleasant, the hotel is wonderful, the walks are peaceful, the food is delicious, and the shopping is fantastic! It is everything that you can ask for from a vacation. The problem is that we are not on vacation and I am anxious to get back to the good stuff!

We had a nice long, late breakfast with our friends Pam and Scott then we headed back to the room for a monumental packing job. Funny how more stuff doesn't fit into already exploding luggage huh??? We ended up leaving all of our snacks and a whole package of diapers at the hotel (since Ben does not really use the diapers during the day- long story -we have not been going through them at the rate we had expected). Nothing like ditching all your baby stuff in favor of more shopping! We were able to get the packing done with enough time left to visit our favorite Starbucks. We just sat there enjoying ourselves and watching the world walk by. It really was a wonderful time together. At 2:45 we met our guide, loaded into a bus with ALOT of other adoptive families, and headed to the US Consulate.

The consulate used to be on the small island where the White Swan hotel is. Apparently they just moved about 2 years ago but American families still like to stay at the White Swan (aka the Baby Hotel) since everything is geared around the kids. Now though the consulate is about a 30-40 minute bus ride from the hotel. It is on the 4th (I think) floor of an office building and does not draw attention to itself. I am kind of sad to not experience the thrill of past adoptive families when they walked from the hotel to where they saw the huge American flag waiving in the air. Anyway, we all loaded into the consulate waiting room and then, one by one, we had to walk to the window so that we could show that all three of our passport pictures matched with us. It was so cute to see all the little kiddos (most were dressed up in some kind of red, white, and blue- even Ben!) and their proud parents. When we were all done we all had to raise our right hand and repeat our oath as a group. It was really cool to be part of such a diverse group that had such a common goal. At the end of the oath we all cheered wildly! I have to admit that when the consulate official was explaining that our children will become US citizens as soon as they go through immigration on the way home my eyes got pretty watery. Let's just say the cheering at the end of the oath didn't help that situation much! We now have Ben's visa to enter the United States and the magic brown envelope that, when handed to the immigration official at Dulles Airport, makes him an official American. I could not be more proud :)

After we left the consulate we headed to the airport for our flight to Beijing. We got stuck in a little traffic so we were cutting it pretty close. We were cutting it even more close since we thought he guide had Ben's ticket and she thought we did. Oops! We had to buy him another ticket (and pay excess baggage charges- HAAA!) and then we were on our way. After such a painful expenditure Jay was pleasantly surprised to find that out of the goodness of their hearts the check in agents had upgraded our tickets to business class! Since Ben was not too good on the plane (wouldn't drink his milk and kept squirming around like he was uncomfortable or something), we were grateful to be in bigger, more comfortable seats.

We got into Beijing and made it to our hotel about midnight. Can you spell E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D?

We are seeing more and more of Ben's personality everyday. He now talks nonstop- remind you of anyone??? Also, at first he was content to sit still and to look at things happen around him. Now, after over a week of go-go-go he cannot be contained. He wants to see and touch everything and to meet new people. His personality is definitely more like Jack's- maybe they will be politicians together! He is really enjoying discovering this brand new world. This has been difficult for us since he now never sits still but, at the same time, it has been really fun. Talk to me on Thursday after a 14 hour flight with a little guy who can't sit still and see if "fun" is still how I describe it!

Another busy day

Today started off with a big late breakfast for us. Ben was busy munching WHOLE pieces of roasted garlic (I kid you not!) while our guide Kelly was busy processing our paperwork at the US Consulate. We got the call at 11:00 that everything was A-OK and we were off to sightseeing.

Our first stop was the Six Banyan Tree Temple. It is one of the oldest buildings in Guangzhou and it a working temple- where monks live and pray- instead of just a tourist attraction. We used to enjoy visiting the old churches in Europe and this was a similar experience. Our guide arranged for the monks at the temple to give Ben a blessing. We think it was a wonderful send-off for him as he leaves one culture to join another. There was a group of tourists from Germany there during the blessing and, let's just say, Ben is going to be in ALOT of German holiday pictures!!!

After the temple we visited a street of small antique shops. It was really cool to look at all the stuff, trying to figure out what was fake and what was legit. There was a plate I really liked but they wanted too much for it and they didn't seem to want to deal with a foreigner so we just let it go.

We came back to near the hotel and we had coffee at what I have decided is the most awesome Starbucks in the world! It is great to drink your coffee outside on the quiet tree-lined street watching the world go by. When we were walking around town after that we spotted the traditional Chinese medicine and massage place that our guide had told us about. Jay and Ben left me there for a whole 70 minutes so I could experience Chinese torture... er, I mean... massage! It was quite relaxing but I am pretty sore now. He either put my spine back together or tore it apart- it is hard to say!

We were pleased tonight to meet up again with our friends Pam and Scott who were were in Shanxi with. We were able to take the famous Red Couch Photos at the White Swam Hotel with their son Evin. Ben and Evin looked so cute in their little outfits (although Ben's was a size 6- NEVER let the father go shopping by himself!!!) We had dinner at that same outdoor restaurant that we ate at last night and then we went walking, talking, and shopping until late. We bought some fingerpaintings done by an artist near our hotel. These fingerpaintings are not what you find in kindergarten! They are beautiful, exquisite paintings done completely without a brush. It is incredible to watch them being made. We had the artist paint the kids names into the paintings so they are very special to us.

Ben is still doing very well. He is a really happy baby and he is very adaptable. He is starting to be a better eater, as long as we don't show him any bread. As soon as bread becomes available, nothing else will be consumed! He loves to play with Jay and they have a game where Jay jumps onto the bed and Ben kind of flops around. Jay and the 2 year old really do have alot of similarities! Ben is growing and learning more everyday and it has been a joy to watch him experience so many new things. He has become a very good walker (if you hold his hand) and I think that walking without hand-holding may be just days away. This is all from a kid who just 1 week ago was not even beginning to walk (and, we were told, might never walk). In some ways it seems that the last week has just flown by but in other ways it seems like Ben has been with us forever. It is really great that we both have this time, away from other distractions, that we can devote entirely to him. It is like the time that we spent with the other 2 while they were in the hospital only we are not in the hospital! It is way more fun this way!!!

Tomorrow we will go to the US Consulate for the "oath" ceremony. This used to be called the swearing ceremony so Jay and I are putting together a list of good words just in case we are required to ceremoniously curse :) Then we depart Guangzhou and head for Beijing. After being here in the beautiful weather of La La Land, I am afraid that Beijing will be a shock for all of us! It seems crazy that in a little more than 24 hours we will be on our way to the Great Wall!

Scrolls, Scrolls, and more Scrolls!!!

As you can see from the title of this post, I am having a little too much fun shopping here in China!!!

We had a really good rest last night (I am feeling better thank God!). Ben woke up early because the baby bed that they have in our room is too small for him and he can't turn around. He is a wild, thrashing around kind of sleeper and it was not cutting it. We brought him into our king bed and he fell back asleep. When we finally all woke up Jay and I were hanging on to the edge of the bed and Ben was laying horizontally between us. Sounds alot like his older brother...

We had another nice and relaxing breakfast (although Ben will STILL not drink the milk at this hotel- wonder how it is different from Taiyuan) and our guide Kelly picked us up with a van and driver. Since we were a family touring on our own, we pretty much had free reign over where to go. The first place we went was Yuntai Garden. This was a beautiful flower garden built into the base of a mountain that has lots of fountains and windmills (Ben liked looking at both). They had a huge greenhouse with beautiful orchids. It was a really nice and relaxing place to visit. We sat down, had a picnic, and just enjoyed the scenery.

The next place we went to visit was the Chen Family Temple. On the way there, we entered another part of town and we had to pass the Guangzhou main train station. Kelly told us that it was a really dangerous place (lots of robberies and muggings) and that local people avoid it unless they really have to go there. It is almost right across the street from the large center where the Canton International Trade Fair is taking place right now. There are thousands of people here from all over the world looking to order Chinese made goods for their stores. Kelly told us that the local police were worried about terrorist bombings because it was such a large grouping of foreigners. She said that the locals have been joking that there was a terrorist on his way to the Trade Fair but when he walked past the train station somebody stole his bomb!!!!!

Anyway, the Chen Family Temple is a building that is a little over 100 years old that was built by the Chen family to honor their ancestors. Actually, it was a way for the Chen family to show off how incredibly wealthy they were! There were all different kinds of carvings there and it really was quite beautiful. Ben did not seem to care since he fell right asleep in the backpack carrier and he missed the whole thing! They were selling lots of artistic things there and I bought 2 painted scrolls. They were pricey but they were entirely silk (not part paper like others you buy in most places). They are very colorful paintings of an emperor and empress. We were trying to negotiate a price but they would not come down as far as we wanted. So, we just left. About a half hour later as we were still walking around the temple the owner tracked us (okay, hunted us!) down and sold them to us at our price. Good bargaining huh??? That makes the number of scrolls I have bought 5. Jay is getting worried that we will have absolutely no wall space left in our house!

This afternoon Ben was still tired and I was feeling quite tired so I sent Jay out to take our laundry to the cleaners so Ben and I could nap. I thought I would give a "cuddle nap" a try but that Ben would not like that because he is not used to cuddling to sleep. I laid him down in our bed and I laid next to him. He wiggled over to me, repositioned my arms, cuddled right up next to me, and fell asleep almost instantly. He knew EXACTLY what to do! We can only figure that during the few months that he spent in foster care this summer that he must have slept with his foster mother. He was just too good at it! I was SO happy!

Tonight we met my Dillon friend Debbie for dinner. We ate at an outside barbecue kind of place right next to the river. You really cannot beat it in terms of views. They had the most delicious grilled meats and roasted eggplant covered in garlic. Much to our surprise, Ben CHOWED. Man oh man is he going to absolutely reek of garlic when he gets all sweaty tomorrow!!!!!

Tomorrow we will have our consulate appointment (we don't go- our guide takes all the paperwork to the consulate for us) and then we are off to a temple to get Ben a traditional Buddhist blessing. It should be really neat! I figure the more people we have praying for the little guy the better :)

Before I go, I wanted to comment on Guangzhou... I have to start by saying I LOVED Taiyuan and Shanxi Province. It was just oozing with history and tradition and I was just soaking it up. I was just absolutely heartbroken to leave. It was a magical time that we spent there and it will be something that I will never forget. It is where my son is from so it belongs to him. And, because he belongs to us, so does Shanxi. Guangzhou, on the other hand, is all new and not very Chinese (I think). I can see why many Americans are dying to get here. There are other Americans, most people speak English, you can eat western food, and you can shop for all the kinds of cheap trinkets that tourists like. Americans like it because it is more like America to them. To me, that is so not the point. Our children are Chinese. Their ancestors were Chinese. This is something to be celebrated, not hidden. This is as much a part of them as their little fingers or toes. So, immerse yourself in their culture, don't run away from it the moment you see a chicken nugget on the buffet. Learn and experience it. Do it for your children. Someday Ben is going to ask us what it was like when we came to China. Instead of telling him how awful the pollution, food, and traffic was in his province, I will gladly tell him about the 5000 years of rich history that he was a product of. I don't want to show him the squeaky shoes and knock off purse that I bought in Guangzhou. I want to show him the paintings I bought that showcase the culture of his birth country. I don't want to tell him that I rushed to Guangzhou because it felt more like a vacation to me. I want to tell him that I LIVED IT, I experienced China with all my senses. This is my job- I am his mother and I will do whatever it takes to make him feel proud of his heritage. It is part of him and China is now part of me.

That doesn't mean that I knock off purse isn't a guide buy though...

Guangzhou: Land of MANY White Folks!

I seem to be losing the battle against food/water borne illness and I am going to bed. I will let Jay tell you about our day and explain the picture...

Today was a fairly relaxing day. Guangzhou is quite different from Taiyuan. Jen and I miss Taiyuan and, while we'd rather be there, it was pleasant to have a large breakfast with a view of the river and walk about Shamian Island.

Our only adoption related activity was Ben's medical exam this morning. Lots of families were there trying to get the paperwork done in a clinic set aside for adoptions. The crying was pretty intense. It was a little amusing that they bothered putting a sign up asking for quiet in a place like that. Ben did phenomenal. His only tears came when Jen put his naked backside down on a cold metal chair. Talk about a "rookie" parenting mistake!

We spent the rest of the day walking around and doing a little shopping. We found a Starbucks with a quiet courtyard in front. It was really nice to sit and have coffee. There were lots of couples having their wedding photos taken. Some of the outfits and poses were pretty wild. All in all it was a great day to hang out and watch the people as the watched us. We tried getting Ben to play a little in the park, but he was more than happy sitting in the backpack watching the world go by.

After some snacks back at the hotel, we went out for dinner. We found a Canonese restaurant and ordered some duck. It turned out to be good value for money as they brought the "whole duck" and nothing but the duck for us to eat. I didn't know that a duck's bill was so rubbery. Check out the photo......that's a tongue in there.

And it was all going so well...

First, let me start off by saying that today, before we flew to Guangzhou, we visited Jinci Temple. It was beautiful, magnificent even. I highly recommend it to anyone visiting Taiyuan. Make sure you have a guide who knows his/her stuff and you will be good to go.

Now, on with the day...

So, we checked out of our hotel at noon and we were taken to Jinci Temple. The pollution, which turned my white fleece a horrible gray color over the last 5 days, had not really bothered me until today. My head hurt, my nostrils burned, and I just felt exhausted. Anyway, after we were done touring we had about 6 hours until our flight. We told our guide that we needed some water and food. She told the driver to take us to the most expensive shopping mall in Taiyuan (it is above the Walmart if anyone knows the area)! WHAT! She let us out of the van, told us there was a pizza hut there, and told us to meet her back there in about 3 hours. First of all, she KNOWS I cannot eat at pizza hut because of the gluten. Second, WHAT- 3 hours??? Well, we walked around and realized that all of the restaurants were closed because we were in between lunch and dinner. I was starving and feeling horrible and I was about to freak out. To make matters worse, this weird guy was following us around wherever we went. Now, Chinese people will follow you around trying to get a glimpse of you or your baby. But, this guy did NOT have good intentions. He was creepy and we were definitely weirded out by him.

Anyway, the only place that was open was an ice cream shop that was empty... this should have been our clue. Well, they had really comfy couches to sit on so we thought, what the heck, we have 3 hours to kill we might as well be comfortable. Without looking at the prices, we ordered 2 ice cream sundaes and 2 coffees. It was $30!!!!!!!!!!!!! I kid you not!!!! AND, I did not even get to finish mine before it melted because Ben decided to pick that time to have his first official melt down. It lasted over an hour and it was FUN! He was screaming, flailing about, and trying to hit us or throw something (whatever we did not have properly defended at the time). He also refused to eat anything and we knew he had to be hungry. (Jay wants me to clarify here that it was Ben Bad, not Regular Bad... he is so mild mannered that even his fits are pretty weak!) So, at the end of the time, we were broke, still hungry and thirsty (they did not sell bottled water there), tired of fighting our baby, and headed to the airport.

The airport was fairly non-eventful. I did have the pleasure, AGAIN, of walking into a bathroom and finding an old woman doing her business in the potty without the door shut. What is with these people????? This is something that has happened over and over again. I was not expecting this and I will NEVER get used to it. I mean, come on!

So, we get on the plane and I make Ben's bottle. It is 8:00pm so we are thinking that he will drink his bottle and fall asleep. WRONG! He played and looked around the whole time. Who needs sleep when there are all kinds of cool things to look at??? The best part of the whole thing was the 2 seconds I handed him over to Jay. Ben got a little watery look in his eyes and started grunting. You know what that means! I grabbed him off of Jay's lap since I was on the aisle and we headed to the bathroom. We get there to find that there is no changing table so I have to kind of pay him over the toilet seat. YUCK! I pull his pants down to find that this is no regular poop. This is, if I may be descriptive, explosive diarrhea! It was running down his legs into his shoes. I am alone in the bathroom with him with no change of clothes. I have only a package of wipes and a clean diaper so I get to work. The shoes are too far gone so I throw them away and the pants are now longer wearable by any stretch. I try to clean off the shirt as best I can (he has to wear something) and I rinse the top of his socks and kind of fold them down so that the wet is not touching his skin. About 20 minutes later I emerge with a pantless, sockless child and a stinky bag (thanks to a very friendly and helpful flight attendant). Now, we were 2 of three westerners on the plane so we were very noticeable. And, those of you who have been here know how seriously the Chinese people take baby clothes. If they are not covered head to toe and sweating to death then there are problems. Needless to say, EVERYONE took notice of my underdressed child and looked at me disapprovingly. I had to hold my head up high and make the walk of shame back up the aisle of the plane to my seat. It was BAD!

He finally feel asleep as we were coming in for our landing (is he an Ingersoll child or what???) and slept in the van all the way to the hotel. When we got to the hotel, our guide went to the counter to check us in. She talked to the front desk people and then came back to us and said, "You are in an executive room so you need to check in on the executive floor." I almost had to change Jay's pants this time!!!! As I was the one who made the reservations, all Jay could do was look at me and shake his head. He seemed to feel a little better when they told him that he could have free cocktails in the executive lounge but I still think he is a little woozy.

We found our room and we waited about 40 minutes to get a crib. We didn't want to give Ben a bath until we would be able to put him down to sleep somewhere but he was, afterall, sleeping pantless, wrapped in my fleece, still covered in S@%&! We finally got the crib, woke him up to give him a bath (yeah- that went well!!!), and put him down to sleep. Maybe he will think it was all a bad dream and not hold it against us!

Tomorrow has to be better...

Jay's Perspective on Travelling

While Jen has been able to tell everyone about the great experiences that we have been having on this adventure, I need to talk about the darker side of this trip. She has potentially scarred Ben for the rest of his life. Let me explain:

Fact #1: I took Developmental Psychology in college and got a B plus. This means I am uniquely qualified to ascertain the primary emotional needs of our children.

Fact #2: There are three "man travel laws" that must never be violated. #1 Thou shalt not stop and ask for directions - even in China. #2 Bathroom breaks may ONLY coincide with an empty gas tank. #3 Thou shalt not EVER pay overweight baggage charges while flying.

Traumatic event: While in Beijing Airport I was forced to march down the walk of shame and pay excess luggage charges for our traveling circus. The damage can only get worse as we have two more flights within China. Worse yet, I'm the only adult in this family that sees the damage that this could cause to Ben. Within days of leaving the only home he ever knew, the journey is too be marred by the violation of travel law #3. The damage to his psyche could be irreversible. I've come up with a list of "suggestions" for Jen, but have yet to convince her of the dangers. Please keep us in your thoughts as we fly to Southern China tomorrow.......Jay

Ancient City of Pingyao

Okay, before I start this post about Pingyao I have to tell you something... Ben said his first word! He can now wave and say "bye". It is just about the most precious thing I ever did see! He can also shake on command (oh gosh- that makes him sound like a dog!), give high 5's, and clap when we say "yeah." What a smart little guy :)

Now for the day...

We got to sleep in a little bit today and, although the day started really well with some cuddling in the bed (with BEN- you people with your dirty minds!), he was really cranky for the rest of the day. He is a VERY picky eater and was even more so at breakfast when he refused to eat anything but a dumpling and croissant (dude likes his carbs). Even stuff that he devoured yesterday was taken forcibly from his mouth and thrown on the table (dude not afraid of showing an opinion!). He was fussy during the 2 hour drive to Pingyao too. This was just the opposite of yesterday. We were wondering if he was not feeling well or he was tired or thirsty but we could not figure out the problem. We realized what was going on as we watched him STARE at other children in Pingyao- he is grieving for his lost life and his friends. Poor little guy. I never want him to forget about his time in China and the friends that he had there but I also hope that he moves through this phase quickly and as painlessly as possible. It is hard to be a mommy and know that your child is in pain and there is nothing that you can do about it. We just tried to give him extra love and kisses today. We also met Scott and Pam for dinner so Ben got a little dose of Evin to make him feel better.

So, you read above that the drive to Pingyao was 2 hours. Why when it is only about 50 miles away? Well, it is because the road from Taiyuan to Pingyao is absolutely the worst road I have ever seen/rode on in my entire life. The potholes were unbelievable. We literally bounced up and down for an hour. Jay took a video of me holding Ben and almost bouncing out of my seat but China seems to be angry at YouTube tonight so we can't get it to upload (the Great Firewall of China!). If it works tomorrow I will upload it then- it is well worth the view.

As for the Ancient City, it is well worth the visit and was one of the coolest things that I have ever seen. Our guide Linda is not a great adoption guide. She knows NOTHING about children, seems unwilling to help us find food or necessities, forgets to tell us about important things, and kind of muddles through the adoption procedures. But, that woman is worth her weight in gold as a tour guide! She knows EVERYTHING! We have a sneaking suspicion that she is actually a tour guide who was pressed into service when our scheduled guide had a conflict. But, as we look back on the past few days, we have treasured her knowledge of local history so much more than we could have enjoyed her parenting advice! She really is a wonderful tour guide.

Anyway, back to Pingyao... it is an amazing walled city that is home to China's first bank. Many tourists come and tour the bank- Linda gave us the WHOLE story of it's creation and its inner-working. It is huge, filling up a square mile, and the wonderful part of it is that even though it is a UNESCO protected World Heritage Site, it a living, working city where people still live and do business. The architecture is so amazing that after a while you are so overwhelmed with beautiful stuff that you become almost immune to all but the most spectacular! We toured around the many former banks (at one time there were 22 banks there- it is Ancient China's Wall Street!) that have been turned into souvenir shops. When I say "souvenir" I don't mean silly t-shirts and shot glasses. I mean porcelain figurines and vases, painted scrolls, paper-cuts (paper with intricately cut designs in it), furniture, and little metal sculptures of good luck charms. I could SERIOUSLY have stayed there all week! I bought a few things but I totally regret not buying more. I wish we could go back and I recommend making a stop there if you are in the area. It really should not be missed!

We got back from Pingyao at about 6:00 and we met Scott, Pam, and Evin for dinner. We have really enjoyed getting to know them and we will miss them when we leave tomorrow. I am VERY sad to leave Shanxi Province and I am NOT looking forward to Guangzhou. You can take your English-speaking touristy resort and leave me with 5000 years of history any day! I will always have a place for Shanxi Province in my heart and I will always long to come back here and experience its wonders again.

Datong SWI and Yungang Grottoes

Today started with an EARLY drive 3 1/2 hours north to Datong City, the place where Ben was born. We enjoyed the rush-hour ride through Taiyuan, looking at ALL the people riding their bikes around town and kids going to their elementary school (looking very much like American kids- kiss mom, put on backpack, find friends, etc.)

The road to Datong is mostly in a valley between 2 mountain ranges. The haze in the air (read: pollution) made the morning views quite spectacular. Jay went a little crazy with pictures out the window but we are now both glad that we have them to help us remember just what it was like. We went through China's longest tunnel (which, just 3 years ago, cut the drive from Taiyuan to Datong from 9 hours to 3 1/2!), saw parts of the older section of the Great Wall, saw an ancient battlefield, and learned alot about the "Rules of the Road" here in China. There is almost nothing in between the 2 cities other than mountains and farms and we were entranced by the rows and rows of funny looking trees and random side-of-the-road-in-the-middle-of-nowhere sculptures. Ben was being really good, laughing and playing, and we really enjoyed ourselves.

When we arrived at the orphanage (Datong SWI) we were ushered into a beautifully decorated room where we met with the director of the orphanage. He is a really nice and gentle man and we are so pleased to have met him. We talked for a while about the people that I know that he had met before. He was surprised at how many other adopters I knew and told our guide that Ben was lucky to have such a friendly mother :)

After our audience with the director we were taken to the place where the children live. Because of all the pictures I had seen I expected it to be a really big building with big rooms. I was very wrong and everything seemed very tiny. I was especially surprised when they took us into the playroom as that was alot smaller than I imagined it to be. As soon as I walked in I saw Ben's friend Tyler. He is the last of the 4 Dillon "Brothers" to go home. I ran over to him and gave him a big hug. I then asked if it was okay to touch the children- backwards?! The nannies said that it was okay to touch them and Jay and I started a giant love fest. Ben was taken away to be doted upon by his favorite nannies and Jay and I starting playing and hugging all the kids. It really did melt our hearts. Jay was playing peak-a-boo with several energetic boys and I was giving hugs to the little ones in the walkers. Two of the boys were really interested in our camera so we let them take a few photos (they didn't turn out so good!!!). We stayed quite a bit longer than we were "supposed" to and it is an experience that we will never forget. It broke my heart to say goodbye to the children and to the room where our Ben spent most of his first 2 years.

Next week the children at the orphanage will be moving into a brand new building. The staff are VERY proud of it and insisted that we take some pictures after crossing the "construction line." We are not sure why it made a big difference to them as we only actually moved about 3 feet closer to the building but it was so important to them that we obliged.

Next we were ushered into the director's private dining room for lunch. Well, "lunch" may be the biggest understatement of the year- it was an honest to goodness feast! Without our knowledge our guide had called them ahead of time and told them about my condition and when the food was brought out they proudly told me that it was almost all gluten free!!! They had even made me some corn cakes that are old school, old fashioned home cookin! We absolutely stuffed ourselves! I actually felt embarrassed to leave that much food on the table! I wish we had a doggie bag since there was enough wonderful food to feed us for the rest of the trip. We got to meet an older girl who was working in the dining room. She had been abandoned at the orphanage as a baby and she had a cleft lip like Ben (but it has been repaired). She is now too old to be adopted (she is probably 14 or 15 years old) and she seemed sad when they were telling me her story. I told my guide to tell her that she is a very beautiful girl. I have a feeling that no one had ever told her that before. I think I will remember her forever.

We said a reluctant but grateful goodbye to Datong SWI and we headed to the Yungang Grottoes, a World Heritage Site located in Datong City. If anyone is making the trip up to Datong, I highly recommend stopping there. It only takes about an hour and it is well worth the time. The grottoes are about 1500 years old and contain over 50,000 delicately carved Buddhas. Some of the caves are just spectacular and each tells a different story about the ancient history of Shanxi Province. This province is 5000 years old- compare that to America's 200 and it blows you away!

Today was a day that will stay with us for the rest of our lives. I am (slowly!) uploading the photos to shutterfly so if they are not there when you look then check back later.

Tomorrow we are off to the ancient city of Pingyao for site seeing and shopping :)

ps- Ben learned how to wave bye-bye. Too cute!

Everything is official

Today was the big day when everything became officially official! We went back to the government affairs office to do the final paperwork, promise that we would never abuse or abandon Ben, hand over all that cash (as much as it broke Jay's heart to part with that much money he was truly relieved to no longer have that to carry it around all over the place!), sign on the dotted line, and put our red thumb print over our signatures.

If you watch the video you will see the director of the orphanage holding Ben's hand and trying to get him to open it so they could get his handprint on the official adoption decree. It was so cute :) Our friends the Odels had the appointment after us. They said that when we left, the orphanage director broke into tears. Can you believe that?! It is so special to me how much these children really were loved at Datong SWI. It is a special place and we are so blessed that Ben came from there.

As if getting Ben forever was not special enough, while we were waiting for our appointment with the notaries Ben took his first little steps while holding Jay's hand! After so many months of being worried that he would never walk, less than 24 hours after getting him he took some steps- a miracle! I must have screamed out in shock and everyone in the room turned to look at me (and probably wonder why I was so excited about these steps). I said, "No, you don't understand. We were told he might never walk!" Then, everyone shared in our joy!

After leaving the office we convinced our reluctant guide to take us shopping to buy some gifts for the children at the orphanage. We got our first look at at a Chinese Walmart. It looks nothing like an American Walmart! Unless, that is, your walmart has whole frozen fish lying in the open and is about 100 degrees inside!

Because our guide has a habit of dropping us off and saying that she will see us tomorrow :( , the Odel's guide invited us to go with them to a park this afternoon. It was such a beautiful park with a giant lake and lovely green scenery. You could take a picture of the lake from every angle and it would have the most gorgeous backdrop every time (and we did!). Ben enjoyed looking at everything so much that even though he was literally nodding off, he refused to let himself fall asleep lest he miss something good to look at! Jay and I figure that he has processed more information in his brain over the last 24 hours than he has his entire life!

Before we left the park the guide gave us the name of a noodle restaurant. We met the Odels there for dinner and it was a HOOT! We were having a huge language problem- let's just say there were alot of charades involved. The really funny thing was that Pam and I were laughing at ourselves trying to get the message across at the same time that the waitresses were laughing at themselves for not understanding. I can only imagine the spectacle we created for the other patrons! We finally ordered 2 baskets with steamed dumplings, 2 plates of noodles, and 2 large bottles of beer. It was $6!!!!!!!! Yes, we fed 3 adults and 2 hungry children for $6 (with leftovers!). Since the meal was FILLED with wheat, my job was to feed Ben and laugh at the the others while they struggled with their food. Pam and Scott's son Evin put a hurtin on the noodles and Ben polished off quite a few dumplings. The biggest riot of the night came after all of the plates were empty and we were sitting back to enjoy a little conversation before we left. Several minutes after the last bite had been taken, a waitress came over to remove what we later realized to be the top layer of the dumpling baskets. There was whole layer of dumplings underneath!!! So that's what the waitress was trying to tell us when we complained that we had requested 2 orders of dumplings and we had only been brought one! You can take an American out of America but...

Tomorrow will be am exciting, emotional, and LONG day. We will leave our hotel at 7:30am to travel the 3 1/2 hours to Datong. We both think it is so important for us to see where Ben came from and we are really looking forward to it. Hopefully Ben will not have a difficult time going back there and he will enjoy seeing his friends. We will post all of the pictures as soon as we can upload them (which might be next Sunday at the rate things have been going with the internet connection here!).

First Evening Together

Well, Ben never napped! Go figure! On account of this, he was a very tired little guy all evening. The upside of this is that he is SO CUTE when he is tired :) He rubs his little eyes with the back of his hands and makes this a pathetic little moaning sound. Makes you just want to eat him up!

He slept pretty well all night except about 1:00am he woke him self up farting. And, I mean FARTING!!!! I had to try so hard not to giggle so that he could go to sleep! After a while, the coast was clear (so to speak!) and he fell back asleep. It is now 6:00am (the wake-up-time that his nannies gave us) and he is just starting to stir. He does not cry to get up- he just kind of rolls around. Wonder how long it will take him to learn the crying game?!

Well, for our first evening together we learned alot about Ben. For instance:

-It will probably be weeks before he lets go of his teether keyring (although he does not bite it- he just holds it to death and sometimes shakes it if we ask him to)
-Most Chinese kids only like hot (really HOT) milk or water. Ben is okay with room temperature or even chilled
-Most Chinese kids love watermelon and hate oranges (too sour). Ben spit the watermelon right out and gobbled the oranges down
-He loves pork (should get along well with his sister the bacon fanatic) and cereal bars (his brother will appreciate that)
-When he eats his porridge it gets in his nose and I am afraid that he is breathing it in (need to ask the nannies about that one)
-He loves his stacking cups and learned very quickly which order to stack them in (smart guy!)
-Ben can stand if he is holding onto something or someone. This gives us hope for walking in the near future
-When he is tired he chews on the first 2 fingers of his left hand
-He is SUPER DUPER QUIET most of the time except when he is laughing (then he totally lets it out!)
-He can crawl. We learned this by putting him into his first bath. He REALLY did not appreciate it and tried to get himself right out of there :)
-He farts... ALOT

This morning we will go back to the government affairs office and finalize the adoption paperwork. Then he will be officially Benjamin Li Ingersoll forever and ever. After that we are off for some shopping and leisure activities (what, I thought shopping was a leisure activity???).

I uploaded some more pictures to our shutterfly photo album at the top right of the blog.

Oh, by the way, if our favorite dentist Michael Patterson happens to be looking, please ignore the picture of Ben sleeping with the bottle in his mouth. Just pretend that it never happened...

GOTCHA!

Wow- what a day!

We arrived at the government affairs office about 15 minutes before the kids did. We met up with my friend Pam (from our Yahoo group) and we nervously waited (and I mean NERVOUSLY!). Suddenly the door opened and a nanny and the assistant director of the orphanage came in with 2 children. Since Pam's son Evin is older than Ben and his cleft is not as severe, we immediately knew which one was which. Besides that, I recognized Ben immediately from his recent pictures. The nanny introduced Evin to Pam and her husband but she was not giving Ben to me. There was a flurry of conversation between our guide and the assistant director. Then, the assistant director picked up the phone and started talking very quickly. After a few seconds, our guide said, "I'm sorry but they have brought the wrong child. This child is a girl who will be picked up next week. They will bring your son this afternoon." I must have looked at her like she had grown a second head! I said, "No, this is our son. I recognize him." Again there was a flurry of conversation and then they again insisted that this was the wrong child. After another call to the orphanage they finally figured out the problem: right child, wrong paperwork! See, a mother knows her child!!!! And, he is CLEARLY a boy :)

Meeting Ben in person was so wonderful. He did not cry at all and Jay even made him laugh (see video below). He has the most precious laugh! He is actually a little bigger than I imagined him to be. I guess I just prepared myself for him to be super tiny. He is small, don't get me wrong, but he is not super tiny. The 12 month clothes fit him nicely. The nannies handed him a lollipop and he held onto that thing with a death grip. Then our guide handed him a package of rice crackers and he held that in the other hand. It was so funny watching him grip them so tightly! Side note: the lollipop is now in a million pieces after the "Drop it on the Floor" game which was enjoyed by all! He is such a happy, smiley baby and he is really ticklish. He should fit right into our family!

After leaving the government affairs office we came back to our room. He ate his rice crackers and drank almost an entire bottle of strawberry Pediasure. It is so interesting to see how he uses his teeth and tongue to compensate for his cleft when he drinks from his bottle. It was then nap time so we laid him in his bed. For the next hour or so he laughed to himself and checked out his new crib. So much for the nap! We decided to get him up and go for a walk outside. We almost made several crash their bikes since they were staring at him instead of paying attention to the road! We came back to our hotel and had some tea in the lobby. He ate a whole cereal bar (I mean he took that thing DOWN!) and then had a ball helping me clean up the crumbs. He would pick them up and put them in my hand. I would tickle him and say good job- he laughter was echoing in the lobby!

Right now he is laying (awake) next to Daddy (asleep!). I have a feeling that tonight there is going to be an exhausted meltdown but then he is going to sleep HARD.

I posted my favorite pictures in this slideshow but you can see more by clicking on the photo link to the right (which is where I will upload pictures to everyday).

Oh-I forgot to mention, the nannies gave us a list of the 7 meals he eats a day. Yes SEVEN! I don't know how they can feed him that often and he can still be so tiny. I guess we will have to wait and see how much he really eats at dinner tonight!

October 15, 2007 BB (Before Ben)

When I first woke up this morning, the first thing I felt was exhaustion. How could that possibly the alarm? The next thing I felt was rush of adrenaline. It's finally our big day! The next thing was nausea. Wow- too much adrenaline! Now, I am just feeling excited and jittery. My legs are weak. There are butterflies in my stomach. I am nervously walking around our hotel room making sure I have everything I need (for the 20th time!).

We had a very nice breakfast at the hotel this morning. I was able to eat some rice porridge and fried eggs. Are you seeing a theme in my food here? We made friends with our wait staff and are looking forward to their help tomorrow with feeding Ben. Afterwards we took a look at a little book shop in the lobby of the hotel. They had some wonderful books about Chinese antiques and porcelain. Jay can already hear the money flying out the window!

Ben completed his 653rd sleep at the Datong SWI and is in a van making a 3+ hour drive as I type this. We are leaving for the government affairs office in about a 1/2 hour. I thought I was feeling labor pains before- Now I am about to explode!

Made it to Taiyuan

We finally made it to Taiyuan!  Our hotel is very nice and Jay is enjoying our view from the 27^th floor.  We met our guide Linda and our driver Mr. Chow.  I told them that they are going to be tired of us after 5 days but they seemed to think they could handle it- good luck!

 

When we got up to our room there was a baby crib in it.  I have to say that it made me pause and gasp!  I can’t believe that we will have Ben in less than 12 hours!!!!!

 

Well, I better go and get some rest because tomorrow is going to be HUGE :)

 

Oh- I forgot to say that we flew over the Great Wall.  It was so cool to see from the air!

Hello from Beijing Airport

We made it safely to Beijing and we are 4 hours into a 6 hour layover. After a 14 hour flight, this is not exactly what the doctor ordered! We had "dinner" at a restaurant here at the airport. After looking at my handy notecard listing all my diet restrictions, the wait staff determined that I could only have rice and scrambled eggs. Again, not exactly what the doctor ordered!

We are now sitting at the Sunbird Digital Relaxation Harbor. Oh how I have missed Asia! We were able to hook up our computer and watch the Notre Dame game. Okay, that was REALLY not what the doctor ordered! But, we thought it was funny that we were sitting in China watching ND football. My how technology has changed since we moved to Japan 9 years ago :)

Well, we should be in Taiyuan by 10:00 and in bed by midnight. We have a BIG day tomorrow!

We are off!!!!

In a couple hours we will be (hopefully asleep!) on our way to China!!! The bags are all packed (by packed I mean overweight and bulging at the seams!) and my mom has arrived to take over the parenting until we get back. We arrive in Ben's province at about 11:30pm on Sunday and then we will get Ben on Monday. Talk about NO adjustment period for us (reference sleeping comment above!).

We would appreciate any words of encouragement you can send our way and, when we get back, we will print off the comments and add them to Ben's homecoming book.

The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
--- Lao-Tzu